Hi Again, Also Bella, Also "Wasted Time"

Hi, all.

I can't believe I haven't posted since winning the writing contest.  (Late March, right?)  Stuff has happened and I'm sorry I haven't updated you on any of it.  Bullet list timeeeeeee:

• school is out and I'm a "rising junior"  (somebody told me that was the term)
• I took down the post about being in the newspaper and my editing Freshly Squeezed v2 because I gave it to the greatly capable and deserving Sarah Fosburg
• she did a great job and Freshly Squeezed v2 is out; I'm on pages 9 and 60-64 (my favorite piece though is on page 32)
• I have a new story to post!
• I have a cat, though that happened back in February.

Here is my cat, her name is Bella:

And here is a short story called "Wasted Time" that I wrote while fairly stressed:

Wasted Time

Um...so yeah, I think that sums it up.

Until next time,

-Allie H-S

P.S: I also started a cover band with a couple of friends, but it has no name.  I am the guitarist/ukulele-ist.  Root for me, 'cause I dunno how to play instruments, but I'LL TRY!

So Things Change

Hi, all.

So if you've been paying attention, you'll know that I haven't posted in about two months.  Sorry about that.  And if you're here, you'll also know that about a month ago, I changed this blog's URL.  Sorry about that, too.  And if you've ever been in high school, you'll know that things change.

Let's talk about that.

On November 1, just after some of my friends had a heart-to-heart on Halloween night, they decided that it was necessary that we shut down the Role Play.  It had been causing some social, academic, and creative issues that I don't want to elaborate on on here, and in order to make things better, we thought it best to cut off all collaboration.  No more book.

So that sucks.  Obviously.  But you'll notice that this blog is still named Rousseaux, and its URL is still Anthony's birthday.  One of the conditions was that our individual characters are still ours, and we are free to do what we want with them.

So, since I'm not actively working on his development anymore, let's go ahead and post Anthony's character form here, for future reference.

So, I realize you have never been properly introduced: kids, meet Anthony; Anthony, meet the kids.

Anthony James Rousseaux

Gender:

Male

Born:

September 9th, 1992 (currently age 23, in the beginning of the story only 21)

Literary Status (Protagonist/Antagonist):

Uncertain

Shadow Ranking:

Was once Tier Nine Recruiter, now Tier Seven

Height:

6'4"

Appearance:

Tall and skinny, with narrow shoulders and a slightly lilting stride.  Really not incredibly strong.  (He has a knife, but in battle relies mostly on his cards.)  He has pale-gray hair trimmed just out of his eyes, which are a light brown.  He has a rather effeminate jawline and a thin nose. Anthony actually has lots of scars and a Shadow Mark on his left wrist, but he hides them with a Three of Clubs.

Sexuality:

Straight demisexual (needs to form emotional bonds before he can be interested in any-thing

sexual, kissing or otherwise)

Personality:  

Very quiet and very observant.  Not particularly light-hearted, but easygoing in most situations. He 's very private, and has to be pushed (or at times, negotiated with) in order to express his feelings because he's not sure they're critical to many situations, or his past because he's mostly ashamed of it.  

Flaws and Weaknesses:

Just because Anthony does not often acknowledge or act upon his emotions doesn't mean they don't trouble him regularly.  He spends a sizable amount of his time regretting things, and swallows every emotion he doesn't want to feel.  This is obviously unhealthy, and he has paid the price for it in many ways, on many occasions.

Skills:

Anthony is a card dealer; he has a magic deck of cards with a specific power each, categorized by suit ("Spade to Fight, Heart to Live, Club to Build, Diamond to Steal" - fighting, healing, illusion-casting and misc. cards, respectively).  He's also fast in a fight, if not particularly strong, and has good endurance.  He always has a diamond-made dagger on him for when he can't or won't fight with his cards.

Story/Backstory:

He had an English mother and an American father.  His father was a state representative for northern California, where Anthony lived on the family estate until he was old enough to go to school.  At that point, his parents began sending him away to a British boarding school every year, where he spent the holidays with his English grandparents, only coming home to California for the summers.  By the time he was ten, he really didn't have much of a relationship with his parents past maintaining social pretense.  

When Anthony's cousin Nathan's parents died, Nathan came to stay with them and became a fast family favorite, causing tensions to rise dramatically.  One day near the end of the summer, Anthony and Nathan had a fight that involved the Black Joker or Master Thief card tearing between them.  This killed Nathan, and Anthony received a jumble of all his interesting thoughts and memories which, as you can imagine, took a while to sort out.  Anthony's parents flipped and all social pretenses dropped, causing a huge fight.  

This was when Anthony ran away and was intercepted by the Shadows.

The Shadows recognized the potential in Anthony's card dealing power and made him a priority trainee, eventually turning him into a skilled Recruiter.

One of Anthony's first recruits was Dakota Black, when Anthony was thirteen and they both still believed in the Shadows.  They became fast friends, and Dakota's house became like Anthony's second (and at times, first) home.  

When Anthony was fourteen, he fell in love with a girl named Cassie Reed and couldn't bring himself to recruit her.  Dakota helped the couple to run away from the Shadows, and they tried to go into hiding, but did not succeed; thus, Anthony was forced to recruit Cassie.  She was immediately shipped off to another base, and he never saw her again.  A year later, another Shadow ratted out Dakota for helping them, and as punishment for their treason, Anthony had to kill him.  (At this time, Anthony was 15, Dakota was 14, and Raven - Dakota's little sister - was 11.)

Anthony shouldn't have killed Dakota because that's a really shitty thing to do to your best friend, but also because for the years to come, it gave the Shadows a hold on Anthony they hadn't had before.  They convinced him of how cowardly and unforgivable that was, among other things he'd done (recruiting Cassie, killing other people, etc.), and essentially used these things as blackmail to make him do even more shitty stuff.  (It was very important to them that he felt like he would never have an out.)

In order to deal with everything, Anthony made himself pretty much completely numb, and it worked until he was about nineteen (when he peaked and stopped climbing the Shadow ranks).  Then Raven ran away from home, and the Shadows assumed that it was because she'd found out about them or about Anthony killing her brother.  They immediately sent Anthony to either recruit her (despite her apparent lack of powers), or kill her.  He knew he could never recruit her, and at the thought of killing his friend's little sister, Anthony finally snapped.  He had a small mental breakdown because he couldn't manage to numb himself anymore, and he finally allowed his allegiances to drift from the Shadows.  For the next two years or so, he followed after Raven without actually catching her, and got demoted several times.

When our story starts, Anthony is on his way to recruit Raven to the Shadows, but sent on a detour to befriend and recruit the other characters.

Kill Count:

Unknown

I made this with an anime maker game;
I couldn't change the proportions so he
kinda looks like a twelve-year-old, but
it's supposed to be him after he leaves
the Shadows and joins the Army.

Same anime maker; this is him before
he peaked in the Shadow ranks, so probably
when he was eighteen or nineteen.  (He drank
very lightly then, but now doesn't drink at all;
it freaks him out.)

Sara made this Anthony dragon with
her mad drawing skillz.  (No, Anthony
cannot actually turn into a dragon.)

Bailey made this with an online
chibi-maker thing.

Again, chibi-maker thing.

This was made on Polyvore.

Siri made this for I think my
Christmas present last year.

This is the original inspiration picture of Anthony,
which I may or may not have posted here before.

I'm not sure I own any more than two of those pictures.  Moving on.

Because the roleplay is over, and I am without a project, I'm pretty freaking bored.  Right now, I'm floating around doing stuff like rereading Harry Potter (third time), rereading Hunger Games (second time), starting Divergent, watching lots and lots and lots of movies, basically looking for inspiration wherever I hope I can get it.  It's not working very well, but I'm not really sure what else to do.

Any ideas?

In Creative Writing, we've been doing lots of short projects, which are interesting and fun, but they really need revision.  (Once revised, I'll post them here.)  Mr. Parker (yes, last year's English teacher is this year's Creative Writing teacher) says that next year he'll be offering Creative Writing II, in which we'll work on just one project all year: a big project, like a screenplay or a novel or whatever it is we high schoolers each decide we've wanted to do for the past sixteen-to-eighteen years.  So I'll be working on a novel, then.  Yaaaaaay!  I really need a project now, though.  Something to work on consistently, and something that I can feel is meaningful and well-executed once I've finished.  And maybe next year I can fix it, or try a new one.  Either way, there's really no reason to wait around.

I need to finish something.  Mr. Parker told me I'm good, but I "lack discipline."  Sad, but true.

Get it together, Allie.

Do you guys ever get like this?  Project-less and under-stimulated, I mean.  And if so, what do you do?

Until next time (whenever that may be),

-Allie H-S

P.S: I do have one thing I've been poking at, a short story about a girl whose mother uproots her and her little sister to leave her father.  It's called Missoula because that's where they go, off to see her aunt.  So we'll see if that turns into anything.  Wish me luck.

Other Miscellaneous Updates: I never finished 1984; I hate Debate; you should read a webcomic called Namesake; I joined Pottermore as WombatRiver12772 and it put me in Slytherin; and HAPPY THANKSGIVING unless you're not American in which case HAPPY DAY YOU SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING NICE FOR DINNER!  That is all.

Let's Just Go Ahead and Update You on Everything

Hi, all!

I've been kinda busy lately, what with school (school sucks, but less so than the last two years), the roleplay (we've been redeveloping everything), and debate (I also joined the debate team, just by the way).  So sorry for not posting very often.  I was going to compare The Maze Runner (book) with The Maze Runner (movie), but I get kinda rambly when I review.  So maybe later.  (Long story short: the movie was better.  I know, I didn't believe it either.)

But yeah, this blog is a bit behind.  I think it's time for an update post.  So now, in no particular order...

Update 1: Yeah, seriously, I joined the debate team.  I kind of regret it though, 'cause my most enthusiastic debate team friend (AKA: 70% of my motivation) has had to take a lengthy leave of absence.  But I already paid club fees, hotel fees, and an extra sweatshirt fee, so yeah, there's no going back.  Our first tournament is on the 11th, which is soon, so maybe I'll post about it after.

Update 2: School started a couple months ago, and my classes this year suck significantly less than they did last year.  Unfortunately, I allowed myself to get discouraged around registration time and did not sign myself up for Drawing, but hey man, I took Photography instead.  It quickly became my favorite class, so I call that a success.  But more on that later.  I'm also taking Creative Writing and Honors English, both of which should give me posting material (in the fullness of time).  P.E. is dumb and Honors Math is dumb, but that's just two of eight classes.  I got more than half-lucky this year!  Yessssssss.

Update 3: Right but so photography.  Photography is hard, so we're taking it slow(ly?), meaning we don't develop our first round of actual film until Monday.  But earlier, we made pinhole cameras (mine was unsuccessful), and photograms (mine were very successful).  So yeah, let's talk about those.

First thing's first: I have to explain how photo paper works.  Basically, a bunch of goddamn magicians came together and created a type of white paper that turns dark when exposed to light.  Well, okay, it doesn't turn dark until you put it in the developer chemicals, but the important thing is this: the parts that had light on them will be dark.  Shine light on one corner?  Dark.  A different corner?  Dark.  A tiny spot in the middle?  Dark.  Just how dark it really gets depends on how much light hits the paper and for how long.  If you shine a really dim light for a fraction of a second, it'll turn kinda grey.  A glaring bright light for a minute or so should turn it completely black.

So, a photogram is what you get when you cover up certain parts of the paper to prevent the light from reaching them.  In class, we stood in the dark room and laid a bunch of objects on our photo paper, put it under a light, and shined it on for a couple seconds, then put it in the developer chemicals.  (side note: do not get developer chemicals on your hands.  They won't hurt you, but you'll smell like old rubber and vinegar for the next two days, which makes you really sick really fast.  It's gross.)  My best four came out like this:

This one's fancy 'cause I mounted it.  (sorry the photo's not
the greatest.  I had to turn it in, so I took this one in class.)

Admire the doll arm.  (And wonder why the hell it has those
shadow objects reflected on it.  How does light work again?)

I am so sorry about the dust.  I tried to get it off,
but in my house, it's pretty much unavoidable.

b r o k e n   l o c k e t
(broken hearts)

Maybe I needed the change of medium from drawing to art.  I like this.  I really do.

Update 4: Like I said, we've all been working on the roleplay, and I'm really excited about this.  We've been doing this without actually roleplaying it though, which just means lots and lots of redevelopment with hardly any writing.  Which I love, actually!  It's satisfying and refreshing.  And remember Raven?  (I mentioned her briefly here.)  I kind of killed her off and deserted her, but now I'm fixing her!  I've been meaning to do this for months.  It only came off the ground now because Mr. Parker (yeah so last year's English teacher is this year's Creative Writing teacher - cool beans, right?) assigned a short narrative written about a Facebook status.  I don't have a Facebook, so I made a status up and ended up writing about Raven running away from home.  It was almost kind of enlightening, actually.  I always try and map out my character and storyline before I start writing, but this time I just kind of just let it go, and I learned things.  Like that Raven is gay, or at least bi.  Despite having a girlfriend myself (damn cutie she is), I am not usually prone to writing LGBT characters, so that was kinda surprising.

The real challenge here is going to be handling two developed characters in my head without getting more excited about one than the other.  And if I succeed to love them both, the next challenge will be to kill Raven off anyway.

Yay!

Update 5: Okay, I think this is the last thing.  Here, we have...webcomics!  God, do I love webcomics.

CUCUMBER QUEST is really fuckin' cute, guys!  These four hero people (er, *bunnies) have to travel all through these crazy kingdoms to collect some silly stuff and fight some ridiculous villains, and I won't lie to you, the whole quest thing is really just kind of inane (even to them).  The heroes are all really adorable though, and like - I mean, can I be your friend, Cucumber?  Pleeeaaase?? - and the villains are all really compelling, actually, with really interesting dynamics.  (Like Nightmare Knight and Rosemaster.  I really want to know what's going on there.)  I mean, their quest is kind of frustrating, and a million times harder than it needs to be just because some of the characters are just stubborn, but the webcomic itself is so cute.  Read it.  You must.

BLINDSPRINGS is...ahh...I'm not sure how to explain Blindsprings.  It's kind of involved, or at least, the whole story hasn't been revealed to us yet.  As I understand it, a kingdom was ruled by a group of people known as Orphics, who were born with magical abilities that came from the spirits.  But the Orphics were too oppressive of their people and the Academists (scholars who managed to invent their own, artificial magic) revolted, quickly taking over the kingdom.  The Academists developed a way to seal Orphic powers, and quickly became distrustful and oppressive of all community members who were of the Orphic line.  Now (about a hundred years later?), Orphic community members are beginning to revolt again.  I think.  Despite it being kind of complicated, the story is told with such incredible charm (and such a different and lovely range of characters) that it immediately keeps you reading.  It's not very long, and updates relatively often, so if you're looking for something elegant and new, I recommend this one-hundred percent.

BFF COMIC is something I was only introduced to a couple days ago, but it is damn freaking adorable!  I'm not far enough in to write my own description of it, so here's the author's: "Best Friends Forever is a (b)romantic dramedy about a dirt-poor quarterback and the nerd-chic president of the student council trying to hold their unlikely friendship together - despite the suspicions & meddling of their frustrating classmates."  Honestly, I'm still early enough in the comic (chapter seven) that I technically shouldn't be reviewing yet, but it is so cute.  Teddy (the nerdy kid) is adorable, and Vincent (the quarterback) is beautiful, and they're just...aw.  You should read it.  Please.
(UPDATE: okay so I caught up on it and it starts out adorable, but then it gets really angsty really fast.  I'm not saying you shouldn't read it, but ahh, be warned.  That's all.)

Oh Yeah and Also Update 6: I'm about 20 pages into 1984 right now.  You know, that old dystopian classic by George Orwell?  Yeah.  It's scaring me.

Alright, so that's the last of my updates.  I hope you guys are all doing wonderfully, and I myself have been doing pretty okay.  I'll talk to you later!

-Allie H-S

Happy Birthday, Anthony! Brief Roleplay History?

Hi, all.

I know I haven't posted in a while.  School started and I've been pretty busy ever since.  I've been trying to find something to post about, and today is a special occasion.  On this day, Anthony James Rousseaux (the namesake of this blog) turns twenty-three.  He was born on September 9th, 1992.  (Hence my username.)  He is by far the best and most developed character I've ever created, and I just...I mean...he's cool.  He's pretty cool.

look at these cool cards, guys.  I own these.  yeah.

In honor of his birthday, I thought this would be a good opportunity to tell you all more about the roleplay.

Some of this will be recap.  Here I'm not rereading and adding on to my old posts about it, but instead, starting fresh.

The roleplay (sometimes known as "Divided") is a project my friends and I started in late fall, 2012.  It was meant to be a silly writing project, just for fun.  We each created our own characters, initially just one for each writer, but since then, things have grown.  This may not be perfect, seeing how at the moment people keep changing their ideas, but as far as I know, the author-character chart looks like this.

Author Siri Reilly:
 - Lizzie Tyler
 - Hank Jacobs
 - Meg Richards

Author Sara Williams:
 - Shade Grey
 - Darel Jones
 - Nate Jones

Author Bailey Giauque:
 - Bea Holmes
 - Jade Young
 - Lea Vindico
 - Oliver Vindico?

Author Alix Kintner:
 - Shizuka Maki
 - Demon?

Author Madison DeCamp:
 - Tyler Noel
 - Cassie Reed
 - Skyler Mills
 - Scarlett Mills-Noel

Author Allie Hedderly-Smith (me):
 - Anthony Rousseaux
 - Raven Black

(We occasionally write one-shots including other characters, but overall, the rights to each belong to their respective authors.)

I typically have trouble staying interested in more than two characters.  If we ever start writing again, I may try my hand in the supporting cast.  (We don't have a lot of that.)

But anyways, we started it in 2012 (eighth grade) just for fun.  One person would write a paragraph or so from their character's point of view (a post), and another would write a response paragraph from their character's point of view (another post).  The responses were, for the most part, quick and interesting, and our story soon progressed into a gallop.  At times, it got in the way of our school and homework habits; cranking out posts like we were born for it.  As is the case with all great amounts of output, the new and sudden experience caused our writing styles to change dramatically.  (Zen Pencils, anyone?)  And I'm not kidding when I say "great amounts;" we ended up with three different Google docs because each doc only allows a around three-hundred and fifty pages.  That's about one-thousand pages of writing.  Sure, most of it was fluff that didn't progress the story, but still.

We all tried a few other roleplays (zombie apocalypse-themed, dystopian society-themed), but none of them lasted long.  I think the reason this one was so successful was the appeal of the fantasy and freedom of our characters, but also mostly just that it was the first one, the one we all really got to know each other through.  If the roleplay hadn't started, I likely wouldn't have the friends I have now.

But so, after three docs, summer vacation finally came and we got distracted.  We've tried to start it again a couple of times, but haven't quite succeeded.  And we've been toying with the idea of turning it into a book for a while - like a year.  I think my co-authors would rather nobody posts any direct excerpts right now, but if we make any real progress, I'll let you know.

But so anyways, school has started, and September 9th has come.  Happy birthday, Anthony!  Someday I'll start writing about you seriously again, and you'll be back where you came from.

Talk to you all later.
- Allie H-S

P.S: Salt Lake Comic Con was exhausting; I didn't realize the Salt Palace was so big.  (The vendor's room from last year was used this year for just the entrance.)  I got ten cool little pins from some place called Akumu Ink, a fancy fascinator hat, and a black parasol umbrella.  Now I'm completely broke.  And that's really all there is to say on the matter.

P.P.S: I always feel like I need to leave a second signature to conclude my post-scripts.  But I don't.  So that's a little frustrating.

A Short Post About an Important Book

Hello, all.

I just read a The Little Prince (or Le Petit Prince) by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.  I realize that this is a children's book, and typically a semi-formal review post like this should probably be about some three-hundred page YA fiction or something, or maybe something even more legitimate - like maybe I should be reviewing Pride and Prejudice for you - but there'll be time for that later, and maybe that's even the point.  Just because this isn't some hefty novel doesn't mean the book isn't important.

This book is very important.

I actually didn't know The Little Prince existed until fairly recently, and I only read it now because rumour has it that I'll be reading it this year in French IV.  (We half-assedly read the first chapter or so in the last few weeks of French III, and I was very lost, so I think having read the English translation first will help.)  But now I know it exists.  And now you know, too.

(courtesy of: classicalcybelle.wordpress.com)

The Little Prince is about adults, and everything you lose when you outgrow your childhood.  It's about numbers and jobs and how we always rush about, and how everything we think has value - a big house, a career, doing everything quickly and efficiently, spending all our time finding new ways just to save some - muddles up everything that's really important, things like love and friendship and true satisfaction.  It's written in a formal, solemn tone, and the narrator says that he doesn't want his book to be taken lightly, which sounds pretentious - and hey, maybe it is a bit pretentious - but the way it's written is beautiful and poetic, if a bit abstract (remember, it's a children's book; it's full of space travel and talking flowers).

Earlier this summer, during that silly Creative Writing class I took, I read Tuesdays With Morrie, which was similar to this, if a bit more straightforward in expressing its themes.  It was also similar because they're both sad.

I've said this before, but I think most good books are sad.  But this was also very sweet.

I think it would be nice to do an audio reading of this, so I'll look into that.  In the meantime, it's 83 pages long, with large text and lots of pictures.  You can easily read it in a day, so if you can get your hands on a copy, I urge you to do so.  I think you'll enjoy it.

That's all.
-Allie H-S

Artifact Reflection 1 - And Also Happy Esther Day!

Happy Esther Day, everybody!  

This post has a very specific purpose, so I'll try and keep it short, but for those of you who don't know, Esther Earl was a really amazing person who died of cancer when she was sixteen.  Partly because I never actually knew Esther and partly because this post is meant to be for school, I don't think I can explain Esther Day well enough and in few enough words to keep it from dominating the post, and I certainly can't do it as well as this vlogbrothers video and the rest of the playlist it's been added to.  Hank doesn't explain Esther Day until about two minutes in, but I think the entire video is very important, so I urge you to watch all of it.  (It's three minutes and thirty-eight seconds long; I think you can handle it.)  In short, Esther Day - August third - is a day to tell your friends and family and everybody who's important to you that you love them, and not just assume that they know.  Last year, my friends and I held a party, but this year, circumstances wouldn't allow it.  So I'm spreading the word this way, because the internet it powerful, and maybe somebody will read this who doesn't already know about it.  Let's hope, I guess.

Right, so, to the school part of this post.  I stumbled upon my first artifact for The Distance Between Us this morning!  It's a newspaper article.  (I am so original.)  I found it in my actual physical newspaper, but that's a little harder to link to, so I have it online here.  In it, Roxana Orellana talks about her recent trip to Honduras, the country she grew up in, but no longer recognizes.  Like Reyna Grande, Orellana's mother moved to the United States and promised to come back for her children once she got settled.  Five years later, her mother returned for her.  Honduras was poor then, but not life-threatening.  After Orellana moved to the United States, crime in Honduras increased dramatically, crimes such as murder happening regularly in broad daylight.  "It’s different now, a place that forces kids to make adult decisions and trek in terrifying conditions hoping for better. The violence of drug traffickers and gangs has poisoned the culture, leaving wreckage that sometimes seems beyond repair."

In The Distance Between Us, Reyna returns to her hometown of Iguala, Mexico during her senior year of high school.  The government has privatized the railroad since she left, and trains no longer come there.  As a result, Iguala has plummeted even deeper into poverty.  Like Roxana Orellana, Reyna goes to stay with her maternal grandmother, and she finds it hard to ignore the poverty that surrounds her, while as a child, it was all she knew.  (At this same point in the book, I find it hard to ignore what a shallow, two-faced monster her older sister has become, while it's all that Reyna ever knew, but I figure that's a post for another day.)

In my last post, I ranted about how horrible and depressing The Distance Between Us was.  I actually finished it yesterday though, and it had the happy ending it so desperately needed.  And it occurs to me that those first three hundred pages of unbelievable misfortune made the last twelve pages of hope so much better.  Because honestly, we would never care that Reyna graduated from college if we hadn't seen everything that had stood in her way, and we wouldn't care that she'd put her family back together if we hadn't seen everything that had torn it apart.  To likely misquote Batman Begins (because that's just my style), "it takes dramatic examples to pull these people out of their apathy."  As a fifteen-year-old white girl in a middle-class family, living full time in Park City, Utah, a resort town and one of the nicest cities in America, I find it is really fucking easy to spend all my time on the internet and connected with the world, and yet remain blind to all that goes on in it.

That said, I think I'm gonna read the newspaper more often.  Ignorance is bliss if there's a spider in your bedroom, but when I look at the world at large, I think I'd like to know the true state of it.  Maybe then I'll know how to do something of value and help it.

-Allie H-S

I HATE IT

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE IT

I meant to post earlier than this.  Sorry about that.  Honestly, I'm only posting right now because I really, really need to just...just...christ.  Jesus effing christ.

IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR THREE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO PAGES OF PURE, UNADULTERATED SADNESS, MISFORTUNE, AND PESSIMISM, I IMPLORE YOU TO READ THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US BY REYNA GRANDE.  YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.

HOWEVER, IF YOU - LIKE ME - JUST NEED TO READ AND ANNOTATE FOR SOPHOMORE HONORS ENGLISH PURPOSES, YOU WILL BE VERY.  VERY.  DISAPPOINTED.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BOOK IS DISAPPOINTING.

"HOW DO WE ESCAPE THIS LABYRINTH OF SUFFERING?"

IS A QUESTION THIS BOOK SHOULD ASK

INSTEAD OF IMPLYING EVERY CHANCE IT GETS

THAT THERE IS NO ESCAPE

EVER.

I WAS GOING TO FINISH IT TODAY, BUT I JUST...I JUST...CAN'T.  TOO MUCH.  I THINK I MIGHT CRY.

I NEVER CRY.

I FEEL SO HELPLESS.

I'm at page 275 right now, which is to say, very close to the end.  I do not have very many chapters to go.  But I just..can't...I mean...why...I HATE THIS.

The bio on the back cover reads:
Reyna Grande vividly brings to life her tumultuous early years in this "compelling . . . unvarnished, resonant" (BookPage) story of a childhood spent torn between two parents and two countries. As her parents make the dangerous trek across the Mexican border to "El Otro Lado" (The Other Side) in pursuit of the American dream, Reyna and her siblings are forced into the already overburdened household of their stern grandmother. When their mother at last returns, Reyna prepares for her own journey to "El Otro Lado" to live with the man who has haunted her imagination for years, her long-absent father.
Funny, heartbreaking, and lyrical, The Distance Between Us poignantly captures the confusion and contradictions of childhood, reminding us that the joys and sorrows we experience are imprinted on the heart forever, calling out to us of those places we first called home.

That is inaccurate.  That is not what this book is about.  This book is abandoned child after abandoned child.  It is "scam artist" boys, who love you long enough for a good makeout session and never look at you again.  It's a mother who leaves and leaves and leaves, and a father who is both always and never present.  It's about always trying to please those whom you love, but whom refuse to be pleased.  It's a constant state of seeing everything you've ever wanted just beyond your fingertips, but the moment you reach out and touch it, it slips completely away.  This book is never being able to repair what is broken, but always trying and failing, trying and failing, trying and failing.  This book is dropping out of college to marry the girl of your dreams, only so that eighteen months, two new jobs and a baby boy later, you can get divorced again, completely and irrevocably robbed of your ambitions.  This book is constant betrayal, and endless loss.  This book is lost hope and broken dreams.

This book is fucking depressing.

I know I should just read it today and get it over with (and maybe finish annotating and start looking for artifacts?) but I recently restarted Homestuck, and I'm close to beating Paper Mario, and my room needs cleaning, and my posters need hanging, and I have movies from the library to watch, and books from my girlfriend to read, and I managed to buy Landline by Rainbow Rowell too, which promises to be much more upbeat than this because she's who wrote Attachments and Eleanor & Park, and fuck it all, I mean, "rainbow" is in her name, isn't it?  So I have other things to do.

Let's do those things.

And also, it's raining, so that's good.

-Allie

TFiOS, Children's Stories, and Tiny, Mexican Men

Hello all.

Time for a jam-packed media post!

I was actually gonna post about how to defeat writer's block, but that actually began to give me writer's block and I couldn't deal with the irony.  And yesterday, my friends and I spotted three lovely copies of my favorite book, The Fault in Our Stars (TFiOS) on my English teacher's desk, and the movie's coming out on June 6th [link], and I haven't read that book for - jesus - almost two years now.  (One and three quarters?)  Also, Mr. Parker (English teacher) said it isn't sad, which I kind of have to fundamentally disagree with.  The Fault in Our Stars is a very sad book.  The protagonist has terminal cancer.  Her friend has eye cancer.  Her love interest...well, he doesn't have cancer anymore, but that's beside the point.  But so, I read it in the summer before eighth grade, then thrust it in the faces of all of my friends, and they came back and told me they had to stop at this one particular scene (and a few others) because they couldn't read through the tears.  (Alix actually told me I'd "broken her feels" because the book gave her too many.)

Now, that isn't to say you shouldn't read it because it's sad.  I've actually noticed recently that all good books are sad, or at least have sad parts.  I think that's because you can't really confront the world's problems without including some sad stuff.  (I would like to link to something here, but it's too spoiler-y, so maybe I will...later?)  And if you don't confront the world's problems, your book is really just...a book.

Anyways, the point of all my ramblyrambles here was to say this: I'm reading TFiOS again, and because I haven't done an audio reading in ages (and because those are fabulous fun), I would like to post it here.  But because it's All Rights Reserved and I don't have permission to use it, that's copyright infringement, which is just generally a bad idea.  So I will look into it!  And if, by some miracle, I manage to get permission, I'll update this post, or maybe make a new one with the recording.

So really this part of my post is just a review.  READ TFiOS.  O-O

However, I did promise for this to be a media post, and something I realized today is that I never showed you guys the last project I did in Creative Writing.  So here, I give you...

A Giant Mess

My junior high is located right next to an elementary school, so we went to visit a kindergarten class, and we each got a little kid to write a story for, and I illustrated mine and everything and just, just, gosh.  That project made me happy.  I took my kid's name out of the dedication though, 'cause she's like five, and this is the Internet.

The one other thing I wanted to share in this post is that yesterday morning, I went to a Rotary breakfast thingy and they have an orphanage/school place in Mexico that they were talking about and they gave us these on our way out the door.

they made pen people!  and keychains!  (it's a sombrero.  it says Guadalajara.)

hehe!

  

and that just made my day.  :3

Thanks,
-Allie

The Louvre (and Scout Finch)

Hi, all.  In this post, I recommend to you two lovely things.  First, I give you...the Louvre!

The Louvre (loohv) is one of the most famous art museums in the world, located in the center of Paris.  Now, I'm in French III.  I love the language and the culture, but I try not to talk about Paris too much because, well, if you've ever been into any American shopping mall ever...

...I feel it's become a tad cliché.  I mean, gorgeous!  But cliché.

But this is something Parisian that I really just can't get over.  My teacher showed it to us in French today, and...and...welp.  o-o

You don't need to watch it with sound, but I recommend it, because the music's really pretty.

(I don't trust Blogger with videos, so here's a link to it on YouTube.)

When my teacher asked the class how many people had been to the Louvre, the anticipated answer was maybe two or three kids.  But no.  No!  Nearly half the class raised their hands.  Now, that's fine.  Good for them!  I'm glad!  So long as they don't take it for granted.  But when one girl was asked how she liked it, she only said, "eh, it was cool," and proceeded to stare at her laptop, vastly uninterested with the topic.

Are you kidding me?  It was cool?  I go to the Fine Arts and Natural History museums at the U and I freak out like a little kid.  I end up taking four minutes of video of snails for pete's sake!  (Which are actually pretty cool.  You should see them, really.)

Now, I have to be careful about calling people out on taking things for granted, because I live in a wealthy neighborhood in a very wealthy country.  But she got to go to Paris!  She got to test her broken, third-year French on actual people!  And she got to go to the Louvre.

Actually, maybe I should set something straight.  In science museums, I become like a little kid.  In art museums, I really become a sort of pretentious culture sponge.  I have to be careful not to get all faux-deep on those around me.  At least, that's true last I checked.  It's been too long: another reason I should be in the Louvre right now.

Okay, well right now it's actually like 3:30 AM there, but my point still stands.

Anyways.  One of my many adolescent dreams.

The other thing I wanted to point out in this post - just a small thing - was this:
In English, we recently read To Kill A Mockingbird, which many people may think is a pain-in-the-ass book to read.  If you're thinking that, and you have to read it like I did, just hold true 'till part two (heh, rhyme).  Pay close attention to the characters, because the farther you read, the more attached you get, and the more interesting and meaningful the book becomes.  (There will be fangirling, too.)  It's beautiful, if a little sad.  In my experience, most beautiful stories are pretty sad.  That's just how it works.

And also Scout is adorable.  (I might have to work on my transitions.)

(courtesy of: wikispaces)

Look at her!  Cutie!  Particularly if you know what scene that is.  My mom and I watched the movie last night.  :3

But so, anyways, read the book, then watch the movie, and then go to the Louvre.  I insist.

-Allie